Back 2 School Bundles for RF Uni ... Now In Session!

Attention parents of children of the elementary, secondary, and college-age ilk.  Junior Juveniles and Mini-Misdemeanors especially.  Have you ever wondered on behalf of your kids …

“What brain food is good for your memory?” 

“What are some good study snacks?”

“Are there smart foods for the brain?” 

This blog post, from the perspective of one of our tenured schoolmasters at Righteous Felon Academy, is intended to address those queries.    

INTRO:

“Welcome back, students of the hard-knock life!  We’re glad you didn’t have any trouble locating your homeroom, here in this abandoned bunker hidden deep below a junkyard for dangerous scrap metal." 

PREMISE:

"The desire to learn is a most human trait, yet according to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, before any Felon can learn (or rob), a Felon’s gotta eat."   

FACT:

"Portable and versatile foods for eating on the go are crucial to keeping your minds alert and test scores high.  Foodstuffs high in protein, dried fruit, dark chocolate, seeds, and low sugar snacks will have you and your study-buddy on the ball and hittin’ the books … hard."    

SOLUTION:

"Righteous Felon has prepared a discounted Back 2 School Bundle of all the aforementioned super-smart-foods.  The Bundle includes:

• 4x 1oz Righteous Felon Jerky - O.G. Hickory, Truffle-O Soldier, Baby Blues BBQ, Fowl Capone
• 1x Righteous Felon Che-Potle Stick 
• 3x SmartSweets - Fruity Gummy Bears, Sourmelon Bites, Sweet Fish
• 1x RipVan Wafel Dutch Caramel & Vanilla 
• 1x SuperSeedz Sea Salt Pumpkin Seeds
• 1x Hippeas White Cheddar
• 1x Mavuno Mango & Coconut Fruit Bites
• 1x 88 Acres Dark Chocolate & Sea Salt Bar
• 1x Tate's Chocolate Chip Cookie
• 1x Love Corn Sea Salt

USE CODE "B2S" for 30% off your Back 2 School Bundle ... HERE."

QUESTION: 

"Yes, Habanero Escobar?  No, you may not use the lavatory at this moment as I’m in the middle of teaching!  Sit down young man, sit down I say!  Do I have to send you to El Jefe’s office for insubordination?"    

TRUTH:

"Crime College is no laughing matter, culprits!  While you think you may ’need no education,’ as hardened crooks, you could certainly do with a dash of ‘thought control’ in order to get your act together.  All in all you’re just another length of barbwire along the prison wall."

CONCLUSION: 

"As you approach your degrees in disobedience, do so with pride.  Eat super-smart-foods.  Spread your wings and fly, suspects.  Fly into the no-fly zone.

Case joints! 

Crack safes! 

Say ‘This is a stick up,’ once more, this time with feeling! 

Grab an RF Back 2 School Bundle!

Class dismissed!”