Cattle breaker. Could rope a steer before he learned to suck his thumb. Once slapped a cow across the face for eating pellet feed. Then shot it with a twelve gauge. Believes in grass diet to a psychotic degree. FDA, citing a 'dangerous contempt to growth hormone' tried to shut him up, shut him down. Then the traps started poking around his pastures. Then inspectors in hazmat suits. It took twelve men to apprehend Mr. Matador, bucked the whole time like a 4,000 lb longhorn. The courts would've squashed him but the community backed him. Also his wife, 22 years married. Night before she took the stand she's found dead in a pay-phone, slug in the brain and a handful of grass shoved in her mouth. Citing a purity so high it would obliterate any competition and pose a public health risk, the courts forced The Matador to cut his ties to RF sentencing him considerably. But Matador is quick. He can hunt. He can cook. Broke out lickity split. After crafting a 20 lb specialty batch from the corpse of his wife's killer he retired into obscurity, went in hiding. Then his little brother brought him back into the fold.

Guerrilla scribe. Propagandist. Trickster. Fabricated a civil war in the lower Amazon to protect tribespeople from a hellbent rubber harvesting conglomerate. Spotlit corrupt CIA practices when leaking confidential records. Has a penchant for the little guy. In fact, is a little guy. Spent two weeks in the Oval Office, hidden, collecting information, exploiting flawed White House security, becoming a legend when he revealed himself. 'To think,' they said, 'that little guy is this generation's Houdini.' Achieved personal life goal at age 23 when he shook the hand of Chepotle Guevera. The world awaits. What will he do next? 

The trigger. Fascinated by insects as a child. Tore off their legs and slid them into microscopes. Tortured rabbits. Became versed in the caves and mine shafts of his West Virginia comeuppance. Pushed best friend down mine shaft then became like a son to best friend's family as they worried, grieved, accepted loss. Fused modern mechanics to his grandaddy's rifle. Target practice with rabbits. Decorated soldier in Afghanistan when time. Cashed in on sight and trigger when time. Mercenary work, contracts in saudi Arabia, iraq. Eventually homeward bound with a fatwa on his head. Target practice with US Congressmen, Senators, CEOs. Formed a résumé in the trail of dead that followed behind. Then the money came. Cohen's barrel got so hot seemed like the entire Northeast had a bodybag to fill. Suspected to be instrumental in assassination of prosecutors in 'Matador,' 'Chemist' cases. Completed assignments for RF unknown.

Flavor boy. Won his third grade science fair making napalm from sheep's milk. Torched two childhood homes contributing to parents' bankruptcy. Money from renegade fragrance company brought him back to school. Honored as first to develop hot sauce from orchids. After a brief love affair with sharks and the writings of Chepotle Guevera, dropped marine biology and public disobedience to peruse chemistry full time. Failed out. Spray painted 'fucking fascists' on college laboratory while cooking highly potent synthetic stimulant known as VIVID, for his mother's maiden name. Formative gustatory enlightenment attributed to apprenticeships with Givaudan, Bruichladdich, Wylie Dufresne. All ended with mysterious disappearances of volatile chemicals and equipment. . Currently: multiple poisonings in outer-Philadelphia area linked to The Chemist. Recent string of arson activity Brooklyn, NY linked to The Chemist. America's most wanted terrorist and sought after molecular gastronomist. King Abdullah has requested his services in unknown capacity. This year, VIVID was statistically the most abused amphetamine by traders, bankers, and politicians. Sources confirm The Chemist works in conjunction with RF gastronomy unit.