Here’s the scene:
It’s 103 degrees and a holiday weekend is fast-approaching. No one, and I mean no one goes into a holiday weekend without a trove of jerky to fuel the festivities, so the orders are piling up. A shipment truck with a bad alternator kicked the bucket somewhere outside of Bryn Mawr. All the orders have caused RF’s data-processing mainframe to crash and sizzle. To make matters worse, the night previous, El Jefe twisted his ankle getting out of the jacuzzi. He’s laid up at home with his foot in a sling and a virgin piña colada resting on his belly—the only real medicine that can take the pain away. The point is, despite the boiling heatwave, the broke-down Freightliner, the tidal wave of orders, the smoking hard-drives, and the boss on the mend … the Warehouse Team abides.
Every bag and box that ends up on your doormat goes through the hands of the warehouse squad. They get orders from far and wide, both big and small, simple and complex. From a single one-ounce bag of O.G. Hickory to Tuscaloosa, Alabama, to the entirety of the RTZN catalogue to Hamburg, Germany, the care and love you feel when you rifle into your very special stash of Righteous Felon is courtesy of Team Warehouse, the undeniable foundation that this entire, unlawful enterprise relies on. They’re the federales of freight. The couriers of the criminal. The suspects of sending. The kingpins of cargo. Despite all obstacles, they soldier on. Muchas Gracias, Warehouse Team!
In light of Labor Day, we’ve had each member of the trusted and honorary Warehouse Squad submit his personalized Warehouse Survival Kit. Each kit contains far-ranging and hunger-quenching items from the RTZN catalogue. The snacks that literally keep your orders coming in, going out, and arriving on time.
If you find a certain Survival Kit to your liking, you can grab it at our website. Links and descriptions of each Kit below.
Fiery Fredman - Don't get between this muchacho and his forklift, lest you want to be flattened to the warehouse floor like a banana pancake. Fiery Fredman's picks for his Warehouse Survival Kit are bundled with a little bow ... HERE.
Mixer Fisher - This dude clocks into work every morning wearing a brand new Rolex. No one's quite sure how he does it. Speaking of which, anyone seen my watch? Looks kind of like Joey's. Feast your eyes on Mixer Fisher's Warehouse Survival Kit ... HERE.
- 4x Righteous Felon - O.G. Hickory, Baby Blues BBQ, Victorious B.I.G., Habanero Escobar
- 1x Righteous Felon Habanero Stick
- 1x SmartSweets Sweet Fish
- 1x Tate's Chocolate Chip Cookies
- 1x RipVan Wafel Snickerdoodle